100WC#34
So as she lifted the lid she looked in the jar, she had found another jar. She could smell something unusual... The girl opened the other jar. She found a baby chicken. It had a bullet wound in its head and there was blood every where in the jar. The girl was screaming, as she was screaming boy with a gun came in behind her. It was her brother.The girl turned around and glared at him. ''You did ... You did this!'' said the girl and started to chase him out of the room...Why did you do it.
Hi Jack,
ReplyDeleteThank you for entering this week's 100 Word Challenge.
I felt very sorry for the girl. Having three brothers myself, I realise that brothers can be very cruel. I wonder why he did it?
To improve your writing you might try looking at different ways of starting a sentence. For example try using an "ING" clause....Opening the other jar, she found a baby chicken.
Keep up the good work!
I look forward to reading more adventures from you.
Mrs Boyce @ Team 100 WC
Cork, Ireland
Come and visit our Class Blog at http://kidblog.org/MrsBoycesClass-4/